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Author: Subject: We Own This Game
CoachMattC
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[*] posted on 12-30-2009 at 03:39 PM Reply With Quote
We Own This Game



Has anyone else read this book? Pretty fascinating stuff. It has nothing to do with X's and O's but I would recommend checking it out. The author does a great job immersing you in the culture these kids grow up in and painting a picture of the kind of pressure and expectations placed on them by adults with questionable motivation.

http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/8240000/8248455.jpg
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CoachKell
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[*] posted on 12-30-2009 at 03:48 PM Reply With Quote


I see were signing the Crips up at an early age
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[*] posted on 12-30-2009 at 04:05 PM Reply With Quote


Actually, according to the book the kid on the cover is probably "down with" the John Does. He does need a geography lesson though, considering he's living in Miami and throwing up West Side.
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CoachKell
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[*] posted on 12-30-2009 at 05:49 PM Reply With Quote


Either that or he's real fond of his pecs...who knows

guess we can flip the picture
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CoachDP
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 12:27 AM Reply With Quote


I've got the book. Read it when it came out abput six years ago. Mine had a different cover, though. Interesting enough book, I suppose. As I recall, the book seems to take a somewhat surprised tone that youth football is not only taken competitively, but seriously.

--Dave
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 07:13 AM Reply With Quote


Find me another organized sport in which several people have had guns pulled on them BECAUSE of the sport... It's gone way beyond serious.

""There's gonna be dead mother f...ers all over, with big ass holes in em"..........father of one of our 7 year old kids a few years ago to our coaches when they didn't give his son the ball.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 07:42 AM Reply With Quote


Another sport? I guess the hockey dad killing the coach would be one. Didn't use a gun, though. Just beat him to death.

--Dave
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 10:47 AM Reply With Quote


Plenty of Little League horror stories as well... That being said, I think that was a poor choice for a book cover photo.... Kurt
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CoachKell
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 12:53 PM Reply With Quote


Quote:
Originally posted by CoachDP
Another sport? I guess the hockey dad killing the coach would be one. Didn't use a gun, though. Just beat him to death.

--Dave


Good recall..forgot about that one. I still say youth ball has it worse
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 01:19 PM Reply With Quote


I haven't read the book. But, after reading the excerpts the only groups that I'd consider this to be recommended reading to is the Miami-Dade Police Dept. and some league ethic committees.

Am I just getting the wrong impression? Is the book really worth reading?
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 01:24 PM Reply With Quote


Eh, they all have issues. Actually, they don't call them "Little League parents" for nothing, you know. Baseball probably got it all started. There have been parent fighting incidents in my town over baseball, nothing (yet) over hockey or football.

But locally - you had the hockey thing in Reading, MA, which is the next town over from me. And this past season a parent got into it with a coach in youth football, and the coach took him out in the woods and beat the crap out of him. That happened in Wilmington, MA, another town bordering mine.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 01:48 PM Reply With Quote


Guy here up in Bensalem PA (right outside philly) made national headlines by pulling a gun on a ref for a bad call.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 02:19 PM Reply With Quote


In 2005 I had a run-in with a parent on the sideline during a game. The guy flies out of the stands and gets right in my face and starts yelling. I thought we were about to have a fistfight right then and there. It was my first year coaching and I was more concerned about not making our football organization look bad in front of spectators by having a coach engaged in a fight.

Nowadays, I have to admit, I'd probably say, "You have about 3 seconds to get off my sideline before you end up on Youtube as the star of 'The Best Youth Football Parent A$$whuppin.....Evah!'.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 03:05 PM Reply With Quote


LOL - careful about which parent you choose on that one.

One of our parents one year was the owner and main instructor of a martial arts academy. Pretty sure I'd have crapped my pants if he'd have come after me. Dude had a temper too - on the way to one of the road games, his wife got a dozen donuts, forgot the kind he wanted, so he took the whole box and threw it out the window of his car as he was driving, LOL.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 03:39 PM Reply With Quote


I wish we could take the all these kids out of their enviroment (not just were they live) but the attitude and motivatation and who are looked up to as role models and simply allow these kids to play and have fun. It's a pipe dream I know but we all have horror stories of parents who mess up sports, and other outside influences that take a great atheletes and good kids who never end up anywhere.

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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 04:29 PM Reply With Quote


You know, I've learned to be a little careful of judging how parents do their thing. I've had a kid (Bobby) on my team for 4 years now, been a captain for three of them. Great kid. Decent player - FB, DL, right at the weight limit, tough kid.

Three years ago, when he was 8 (2nd year playing), we played a team that had a real stud that just KILLED us. I had never seen anything like it at our level (granted, was only my third year with youth football). I mean, WE had a kid that we wouldn't let participate in certain drills because he hit so hard he was scaring/scarring our team, and this kid just SMOKED our kid. He was laying down the wood all over the field - in fact, he ruined our best RB, hit him so hard that he was afraid to run the ball for the rest of the year. Anyway, towards the end of the game, there was (another) kickoff to us, and the ball went right to Bobby, and he stepped away from it and was (weakly) looking for someone to block. Didn't want any part of that ball. I talked to him before the next practice, and he said he didn't want to carry the ball anymore. It was obvious he was afraid, but frankly, the way that kid from the other team was hitting, I didn't really blame him, LOL. I figured I'd slowly work him back in, no reason to force it, but I was going to get him back on the horse, so to speak.

So, his Dad comes up to me after practice and asks me what happened on that kickoff. I told him that Bobby didn't want to carry the ball, that I thought he got a little spooked by that one kid. His eyes got real big, and he was like "WHAT!?!?" I'm thinking "oh, sh*t, did I just get this kid a beating" I'm frantically trying to tell him it's okay, I'll work with him, he'll be fine, while this guy is just standing there shaking his head - you could SEE the smoke coming from his ears. The next day, Bobby comes up to me and says he wants the ball. I'm thinking holy crap, I got this kid beaten by his Dad.

But ultimately, it all worked out. I got to know the Dad, he's just old school - his kid isn't going to be afraid of anything, ever, period. Granted, I don't KNOW what goes on in his house, but I seriously doubt he lays a hand on his kids. He's just got a different approach than I do as a person, and a parent. And that's okay. Took me a while to get that to sink in, but as long as the kid's not being abused, to each their own.

Obviously, there are plenty of situations you'd want the kid out of the house - I've seen one or two, but nowhere near what others here have. I'm just saying that, for the most part, I try to stay out of parenting the kids that aren't my own, and focus on coaching.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 06:09 PM Reply With Quote


Quote:
Originally posted by jrk5150
LOL - careful about which parent you choose on that one.

One of our parents one year was the owner and main instructor of a martial arts academy. Pretty sure I'd have crapped my pants if he'd have come after me. Dude had a temper too - on the way to one of the road games, his wife got a dozen donuts, forgot the kind he wanted, so he took the whole box and threw it out the window of his car as he was driving, LOL.


I've studied martial arts since I was 14. I've been trained in hand-to-hand combat in the U.S. Army and, I used to work as a bartender/bouncer in a very rough nightclub. When it comes to a fight; it ain't my first rodeo. To be honest, most- certainly not all- martial artists can't fight worth crap.
But, that's really not my point. My point is that adults have a responsibility to behave themselves and set positive examples for their kids. That incident in 2005 was the worst. But, it wasn't my last. Heck, it wasn't even the first- just the worst.

I've had to remove my own players from the field because some relative of theirs couldn't behave themselves during a game. I've had to step in when a league official couldn't get some men under control during a game because she's a woman and they figured they could just intimidate her.

When those excerpts from the book relate about drug dealers being upset because they lost $1,200 betting on a team, it's just stupid to me. Why didn't those same a-holes ever think about investing in those kids' football program?
I coach kids from poor neighborhoods. $1,200 would mean a lot to our program. And, these coaches are worried about crap like organizing limo rides to the games? What a great way to spend your sponsors' dollars. LOL! During the gas crisis, my wife and I were burning gas in two full-sized V8 engine trucks just to make sure players were getting to practices because their parents could give less than a damn about doing anything for their own kids. But, some of those same parents could damned sure show up to games and scream at the refs, voice their opinions on how to run football programs and, generally make a$$es out of themselves in public. I'm just not a person that would tolerate them.
I'm not particularly well-liked by some of those parents, to say the least. But, I don't much care for some of them, either. Their kids are now getting better grades, taking responsibility for their actions and learning that there is something better in their future if they don't make excuses and dare to work for it.
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 07:04 PM Reply With Quote


Quote:
Originally posted by tiger46

I haven't read the book. But, after reading the excerpts the only groups that I'd consider this to be recommended reading to is the Miami-Dade Police Dept. and some league ethic committees.

Am I just getting the wrong impression? Is the book really worth reading?

It is a good read. I just didn't find it to be the shocker that some have made it out to be. Perhaps I'm just jaded. Perhaps it just comes from coaching youth football for the past 13 years. I'll agree about the book cover; just stupid.

--Dave
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[*] posted on 12-31-2009 at 09:20 PM Reply With Quote


Quote:
Originally posted by CoachDP
Quote:
Originally posted by tiger46

I haven't read the book. But, after reading the excerpts the only groups that I'd consider this to be recommended reading to is the Miami-Dade Police Dept. and some league ethic committees.

Am I just getting the wrong impression? Is the book really worth reading?

It is a good read. I just didn't find it to be the shocker that some have made it out to be. Perhaps I'm just jaded. Perhaps it just comes from coaching youth football for the past 13 years. I'll agree about the book cover; just stupid.

--Dave


Nah, what's wrong with a 10 year old kid throwing up gang symbols..he's just representin
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[*] posted on 1-4-2010 at 12:36 PM Reply With Quote


Quote:
Originally posted by tiger46
I haven't read the book. But, after reading the excerpts the only groups that I'd consider this to be recommended reading to is the Miami-Dade Police Dept. and some league ethic committees.

Am I just getting the wrong impression? Is the book really worth reading?


Interesting you should mention the cops. During the part where the shots were fired at a playoff game the ref was an off duty cop. He started to call off the game but was eventually talked out of it by the league commissioner because it would have started a riot since the 2,000+ spectators were mostly high and drunk. It was actually safer to let the kids keep playing after shots were fired than to try and get the kids out of there.

Its not that I was that surprised to read about situations like a kid getting hurt in a game and his mom not showing up to get him from the ER until 1AM with a half full cup of bourbon in hand. I was more surprised at the level of tolerance in the community for the behavior like the shooting at the game. BTW, the story didn't even make the next morning's paper.

I've coached plenty of kids from the "hood" where I never meet their parents and have to pick them up, drop them off, feed them, whatever. It sucks but I think that's pretty common actually, but the book did raise my awareness about how these kids see the world.
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[*] posted on 1-4-2010 at 12:39 PM Reply With Quote


Quote:
Originally posted by CoachKell
Nah, what's wrong with a 10 year old kid throwing up gang symbols..he's just representin


Hell, they even had one kid who asked for a certain jersey number b/c he wanted to represent the street where the thugs he was down with were from.
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CoachKell
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[*] posted on 1-4-2010 at 01:12 PM Reply With Quote


Was it "fif" street?
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[*] posted on 1-4-2010 at 02:03 PM Reply With Quote


"fiddy fo" actually
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[*] posted on 1-12-2010 at 09:24 AM Reply With Quote


I read the book, 90% of the problems come from the 2 coaches, the one coach campos I think his name is is insane, with the coach bus and the steak dinners he's supplying for his "recruited" players since theres no districts and anyone can play anywhere or the other guy who got the Georgia Southern playbook online and started to install it with his 9 year old team with no adjustments for their age then got mad when the kid didn't understand the terminology.
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[*] posted on 1-29-2010 at 10:20 PM Reply With Quote


I just finished the book. I didn't find it totally shocking tho. To a lesser degree I have seen a bunch of the same things that happen in the book in my own back yard. The coach that tries to install that complex "O", I guess he didn't come by this website before his season started;)



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