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Author Topic: Ego  (Read 2951 times)

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Offline spidermac

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Ego
« on: November 05, 2018, 12:40:17 PM »
Webster calls it the: self especially as contrasted with another self or the world...essentially, how do I feel about myself when compared to others...we all have it...some I guess pay more attention to it than others do...I am nothing more than a dime store philosopher or psychologist or something...but generally speaking, my take on things is "what others think about me is none of my damn business"...

That said, it would be disingenuous for me to say that I don't do some things to feed my own ego...but, I like to believe, coaching is not one of them...I coach to teach the kids this great game, help them develop a love for the game and each other...I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to out coach and out scheme the other coaches, but I really do not care what they think about me.

But I might be lying to myself just a little...Saturday, with about 2:30 left in the game, we were leading 24-0, against a team with 2 "homerun hitters"...we had obviously contained them thus far, butI did not want to give them the ball back...I wanted to get my first down, and get the clock to where I could kneel the ball out... 3rd and 9 from their 21. 4 down territory, a gain of 6 would have put me in field goal range, but I wasn't even thinking about that...I wanted to move the chains and start kneeling. We called a play, the offense and defenses aligned, and we saw it was not there, so we audibled into another short pass play, only thinking about converting...slant/arrow...well, the defense didn't cover it at all, it was wide open, and when the ball was caught, they didn't come close to tackling the receiver...and he scored...putting the game into the mercy clock...with about 2 minutes and change left...the clock does not stop...except for an injury or a time out by the losing team. After the kick, which was good, they was :56 left in the game. I asked if we had to kick it off, and the other team answered by lining up for the hand shake.

Went through the line, telling the opponent players good game, we came to the coaches...half assed hand shakes, no eye contact, nothing coming out of their mouths...until I can see their header...I notice he is shaking no ones hand...or saying anything, until he sees me...no handshake...but he did say "That was pretty classless Chris, throwing the ball with less than a minute to go (revisionist history), but I didn't expect anything less from you". I didn't say a thing, went to the sideline, made sure the gear was packed up and went to celebrate with my team...my OC heard what he said and he said to me..."I'm sorry"...I asked for what? He said "I was the one who called the play"...I said..."I was the one who told you to kill the play you had called initially, and was standing right next to you when you sent in the second play, I could have killed that too...you did nothing wrong, you were trying to get the first down, it is not our responsibility to coach his teams coverage or teach them to tackle...you did nothing wrong"...

I did feel bad for the kids in the handshake line, they had left it all out there, some had sweaty eyes...we had ended their season...but for coach, not so much.

My OC called me again after the game, and asked "Are you alright?" I asked "why wouldn't I be alright?"...and he said the stuff with coach calling me "classless". I told him I was perfectly fine, and if he really thought I was classless, that was his business not mine.

But I did think about it a bit when I got home...and maybe it did sting a little...and this is my own ego...

When coach first got his team 4 years ago...I was on the board...and I helped him find vendors to outfit his team...when they were warming up one day, and saw they were having trouble with the shot gun snap, I asked him if he wanted to see how we taught it, and I showed him when he said yes (they were still using the same method Saturday when we played), leading into the playoffs...he blasted off on a group of parents (who deserved it), but he did it in front of the kids, right after the game, and it was on video...the president of the league told me to fire him, I told him no, he was one of the good ones he need to be coached, and not fired, president told me to coach him then, and if he screwed up, it was on me...so I coached him, and he did the right thing...and he lost a few kids off of his team after the season, but he got to keep his team going forward....I never told him I was told to fire him, and instead went to bat for him...after the season, we talked some more, and I hooked him up with were he could find leagues to play spring flag, and which ones were the good leagues...he runs a mission trip to south America in the summer...and teaches boys football...I donated equipment to his mission, and hooked him up with others who helped him as well...when his team beat us for the first time ever last season, I called him afterwards and congratulated him...he asked if I would write a blog article for his wife's sports parents website, and I agreed, and it turned out to be the most read article they ever had on their website...but I am classless...

Okay, intellectually, I know that his ego was the one that was stung on Saturday, he had a pretty good team, they were 4-3 and averaged 3 scores a game and only allowed 2 scores a game...and he thought they could play with us based on our first meeting earlier in the season...but that was on a wet field, where we could not throw the ball beyond the first half...he was very wrong...we had 206 yards total offense to his negative 2...nothing they did stopped us, nothing they did could beat us...so I get it...I was going to give it a couple of days and call him and explain what happened...but then I saw that he unfriended me on Facebook....so, I guess to him I will always remain classless...and I won't need therapy to get past that...
None of them suck, they just haven't found what the kid is good at yet.

Online Wing-n-It

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Re: Ego
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2018, 12:53:11 PM »
And you shouldn't need therapy. you did nothing wrong

If you were already in "mercy clock" I would be like,.... Cmon Chris. But you weren't

You went into with that play.

I don't like the other team scoring. no matter what. It eats at me when my defense gives up points, at any time.

Its a sad day when you have to coach the other team as well as your own.
Robert

2 Things my offense will always have is a Wing and a Wedge

Offline MHcoach

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Re: Ego
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2018, 12:57:35 PM »
SMac

It's only when someone can't take getting beat, that it's a classless move. First off, did you tell him maybe he should have taught his team to tackle or play coverage? I find it humorous that it's almost always the loser that questions another coach's ethics instead of their own faults.

Smile, keep your head up, you did everything right.

Joe
"Champions behave like champions before they're champions: they have a winning standard of performance before they are winners"
Bill Walsh

Online Wing-n-It

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Re: Ego
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2018, 01:02:53 PM »
Im thinking that the pass play has a far less chance of making it then a run would.

If the other "coach" looked at the odds of that play making it, he would then realize shoving down their throats running wise with a 8 YO DW is worse for moral.

Actually having him for a coach is bad for moral  ;)
Robert

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Offline spidermac

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Re: Ego
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2018, 01:11:08 PM »
Im thinking that the pass play has a far less chance of making it then a run would.

If the other "coach" looked at the odds of that play making it, he would then realize shoving down their throats running wise with a 8 YO DW is worse for moral.

Actually having him for a coach is bad for moral  ;)

Robert, that's next season...going back down to 8's and putting in DTDW :)
None of them suck, they just haven't found what the kid is good at yet.

Offline spidermac

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Re: Ego
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2018, 01:17:17 PM »
SMac

It's only when someone can't take getting beat, that it's a classless move. First off, did you tell him maybe he should have taught his team to tackle or play coverage? I find it humorous that it's almost always the loser that questions another coach's ethics instead of their own faults.

Smile, keep your head up, you did everything right.

Joe

Joe, no, I didn't think it would be prudent to suggest teaching his boys the game may have been a better choice than depending upon my mercy to keep the game close...but it obviously crossed my mind, because I told my OC that teaching them that was not our responsibility...

When I was a younger coach and had no idea what I was doing, and we were getting blown out...and I was whining about it...someone did suggest to me that I should coach better if I didn't want my team to be on the wrong side of the blow outs...at that point, I decided that I was going to learn from my losses and get better, and not lose from my losses...if that makes sense...
None of them suck, they just haven't found what the kid is good at yet.

Offline COACH JC

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Re: Ego
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2018, 01:31:44 PM »
I never let a coaches ego interfere w/ my own teams fun. I ran a trick play up 30+ as time expired a couple games ago. Why? We practiced it, hadnít had a chance to run it yet, & my kids deserved to run it. I could care less if the other coach is offended.

That said, I had played an all sub defense for half the game. Never put my starting D in when the other team was going to score. We do that in all blowouts.

 I think on your end if you were concerned w/ preserving a shutout, then your ego was def involved. Iíve heard all the excuses in the world for why coaches obsess over the shutout in a blowout game, but it really is all ego.
But you know your team better than me. Maybe you wanted to end on a high note, or get some guys reps. To me you can win however you want, as long as your ego isnít the dictating factor.

In our championship game this weekend we were up 8-6. Drove to our opponents 1 w/ a little over a minute left. Staff wanted me to punch it in. I took a knee twice. Only way we could possibly lose was to run a play. Punching it in would have been 100% an ego thing. And iíd bet 99/100 coaches go for the TD there. But  I try to remove my ego as much as possible, granted I fail often.
It's all about having fun.  But losing aint fun!

Offline 32wedge

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Re: Ego
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2018, 01:34:44 PM »
You're kicking 30 yard field goals with 11 year olds?  Definitely classless! ;D ;D

Offline MHcoach

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Re: Ego
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2018, 01:37:20 PM »
SMac

Funny how that works. The better you coach the more classless bad opponents think you are.

I think sometimes guys loose sight of what reality is. Throwing Slant/Wheel is just part of your offense. It's not like you threw a double reverse pass. It always frustrated me when we would throw Bubble on a read & some coach thought we were trying to run it up. It's just our offense.

Joe
"Champions behave like champions before they're champions: they have a winning standard of performance before they are winners"
Bill Walsh

Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2018, 01:39:10 PM »
I think on your end if you were concerned w/ preserving a shutout, then your ego was def involved. Iíve heard all the excuses in the world for why coaches obsess over the shutout in a blowout game, but it really is all ego.

Doesn't matter the "reason," or even whether it's related to ego.  In the end, you're responsible for your team and the other coach is responsible for his.  I have no control over how he interprets anything I do.  I think I gave up showing "concern" for my opponent when I used to send four boys over to my opponent's coaching staff to introduce themselves and ask if they needed anything.  When we were accused of trying to intimidate our opponent, I gave up.  If a group of grown men can be intimidated by four ten-year-olds who are practicing their introductions, then I can't help you.  Play the game.  Coach your team.  Don't concern yourself about their opinion.  You can bend over backwards to keep the score in check, and still be accused of all sorts of fiction.

--Dave
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"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope

Offline mahonz

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Re: Ego
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2018, 01:40:50 PM »
Chris....was it about the shutout?

We played a team mid season that was up 24-0 . Late in the 4th we went for it on 4th down and didnt make it. We were on our own 12. There is maybe 3 snaps left in the game. Opposing coach proceeds to hand it to his star RB until they score. I didnt mind him not taking a knee but hand the football to your OG or do something out for the ordinary. 

I wont forget that act. I have 6 years to get back at him....and trust me I will.  ;)
« Last Edit: November 05, 2018, 01:42:35 PM by mahonz »
Collect moments, not wins.

Offline COACH JC

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Re: Ego
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2018, 01:46:59 PM »
Doesn't matter the "reason," or even whether it's related to ego.  In the end, you're responsible for your team and the other coach is responsible for his.  I have no control over how he interprets anything I do.  I think I gave up showing "concern" for my opponent when I used to send four boys over to my opponent's coaching staff to introduce themselves and ask if they needed anything.  When we were accused of trying to intimidate our opponent, I gave up.  If a group of grown men can be intimidated by four ten-year-olds who are practicing their introductions, then I can't help you.  Play the game.  Coach your team.  Don't concern yourself about their opinion.  You can bend over backwards to keep the score in check, and still be accused of all sorts of fiction.

--Dave

No doubt. The guys who are gonna get offended will be offended no matter what you do. I canít imagine coming out of a game that we got killed in, and having my 1st thought be about how the other team didnít show us mercy.

You got college & NFL coaches crying about it too. Itís amazing. To me if we lose 14-6 or 40-0, the only difference is how much we have to work on. I donít take moral victories from close losses & I donít view ass whoopins as anything more than a learning experience.
It's all about having fun.  But losing aint fun!

Offline spidermac

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Re: Ego
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2018, 02:16:12 PM »
No, it was not about preserving the shut out...points don't matter now as we are in the playoffs...its all win or go home...

They have 2 homerun hitters...when we played them earlier this season, they scored on a fifty some yard play and a 30 some yard play, and the first play from scrimmage they ran was 70 something, but it got called back...I honestly did not want to give them the ball back and have them score quickly, get a bad bounce on an onside kick etc...the other times we have beaten this team we had them 20 to zip, 22 to zip, 24 to zip and when it was time to kneel, we kneeled :) when it wasn't yet time to kneel, we played football...

I have kneeled the ball first and goal, because it was time to kneel...

And yes, we have a kid who can kick a 30+ yard FG :) he hit a 26 yarder in OT earlier this season to win the game...trust me, this has absolutely nothing to do with me, other than teaching my short snapper how to snap and my holder how to catch the snap and get it down quickly...I know nothing about kicking...other than you should do it with your foot...

None of them suck, they just haven't found what the kid is good at yet.

Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #13 on: November 05, 2018, 02:19:41 PM »
We played a team mid season that was up 24-0 . Late in the 4th we went for it on 4th down and didnt make it. We were on our own 12. There is maybe 3 snaps left in the game. Opposing coach proceeds to hand it to his star RB until they score. I didnt mind him not taking a knee but hand the football to your OG or do something out for the ordinary. 

I wont forget that act. I have 6 years to get back at him....and trust me I will.

Mike, so a 30-0 loss was worse than a 24-0 loss?

--Dave
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The Mission Statement:
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Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #14 on: November 05, 2018, 02:20:50 PM »
I canít imagine coming out of a game that we got killed in, and having my 1st thought be about how the other team didnít show us mercy.

Yes, this ^.

Exactly, Jake.

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement:
"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope