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Author Topic: Ego  (Read 3037 times)

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Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: Ego
« Reply #90 on: November 06, 2018, 04:39:57 PM »
Doesn't matter whether I agree.  You're traveling down that road of tit for tat; what's justified as opposed to what's unjustified.  My position is, it doesn't matter.  Your gauge of what's appropriate will be different from your opponent's.  So why even go there and worry whether you've been slighted, or whether you've slighted someone else?  Just coach your team.

--Dave

I will admit that I feel like we took that game a little too far. I thought about it in the off-season and I made some internal changes. Just little details in my head that helped me define where the "line" is.
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Offline SingleWingGoombah

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Re: Ego
« Reply #91 on: November 06, 2018, 04:43:12 PM »
I'll be sure to remind them when the time comes.



Expect blank stares, and non-genuine "oh yeah we remember that coach" responses.

They forgot about the situation by the time they got home.  Why make next seasons game have anything to do with last seasons game.  I wont give a rats ass about a prior game anymore, until the rules change and points can carry over week to week.  Until then, I am preaching going 1-0 every week. 

Offline 32wedge

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Re: Ego
« Reply #92 on: November 06, 2018, 04:46:20 PM »

But in terms of program-building, if you can't win games, then you have to find someone other aspect of your program to sell your sizzle.  Facilities, off-season road-trips, mentoring...I dunno.  But something to give your parents and players the hope that they can get something from you, that they couldn't get from any other coach.


In 3 years here, we are 11-3 against the teams relatively close to our own size (none are smaller) but our numbers are still pitiful. During that time, I have not faced an opponent who had less players, usually about 2 to 1 difference.  The 3 big schools (who we are 0-9 against) in our district field dress 3 to 4 times as many players as we do.  Playing those guys does not help us and other than an ego boost, I can't see how it helps them much either.

Our High School Varsity and JV are 8-49 combined in the same time period and the only win my rec league feeder program has in that time is two years ago when they fielded two 3rd/4th grade teams and one beat the other.

And you are correct, I do not have to stay here.  I have other options to coach or I could just quit.  Or I could get those 3 beasts off my schedule and win every year. ;D

Maybe road-trips and mentoring is the ticket.  I never tried that.

Offline 32wedge

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Re: Ego
« Reply #93 on: November 06, 2018, 04:49:38 PM »
I discover new "buttons" all the time.

Look, my ability to describe the situation from my keyboard is limited. It wasn't what he said, but how he said it. Also, I never complained once about this coach. I simply filed it away under "some day". I want my guys pissed off at every perceived slight or display of disrespect. We will get ours and it will be 100% within the rules. That's all part of the Mojo.

If you can use your grudge with "classless" to fire up your new team, I say use it.

Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: Ego
« Reply #94 on: November 06, 2018, 05:03:32 PM »
Ok I get eliminating the flossing on the sideline stuff.

But why are you trying to make a 7 year old more aware to stupid adult antics like that?  My god, let the kids be kids.  I had to listen to a coach in our organization that coaches 8 year olds talk up about the level of disrespect they should feel for being an undefeated 3 seed (1 and 2 were undefeated as well) and how that the 2 seed they were playing does not belong on their level, and they need to take out the disrespect on that team.  All week long.  They go and win 7-0.  Do you think any of those kids are thinking crap, we did not avenge the disrespect enough.  Hell no. Those kids had no idea what that coach was talking about.  His brilliant motivational tool was age appropriate.  I have tried the disrespect angle before too with mostly a 10 year old team.  It may work for a very very small percentage of kids.  But for the most part you are just blowing smoke.

I used to talk about coaching to turn these kids in to men... then I had kids of my own... and I wanted my kids to be kids as long as possible.  I don't talk about being men anymore.  I want them to be kids.  Its not age appropriate for a 7 year old to feel disrespected the way you were.  I think you being upset over the coaches antics blinded you to the kids real reaction to it. 

If your need for revenge is going to make you coach those kids differently... then maybe you should have been doing things differently the whole time.  It should have zero effect on how you practice, or what you do.  You should be doing your best possible job, and working your hardest to beat any team.  Your next crack at this coach... how are you going to approach it differently the week leading up to the game?

I guess thatís where we differ. Go ahead be a kid. Floss, play FortNite, giggle and whatever most of the week, but for 2 hours, 4 days a week, be a football player.

Whatís interesting to me is how many times in your last post you told me what I should be doing or how I should be coaching. I will do exactly what I think is best for my players and that will never change. If I ever felt I was doing any harm, Iíd stop coaching.

Do we do anything different for a hated rival? Not from a technical or mechanical standpoint. We do what we do, but with a lot more emotion, which tends to help with the focus and effort. Then, when the day comes where weíre up 4 scores, all of our players understand the significance of going up 5. If you think thatís silly or unnecessary, then more power to you. For me, itís why I drive 20 miles each way, give up hunting and miss my sonís hockey games.

Another wise man is fond of saying ďthereís nothing nice about football.Ē
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Offline SingleWingGoombah

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Re: Ego
« Reply #95 on: November 06, 2018, 05:14:36 PM »
I guess thatís where we differ. Go ahead be a kid. Floss, play FortNite, giggle and whatever most of the week, but for 2 hours, 4 days a week, be a football player.

Whatís interesting to me is how many times in your last post you told me what I should be doing or how I should be coaching. I will do exactly what I think is best for my players and that will never change. If I ever felt I was doing any harm, Iíd stop coaching.

Do we do anything different for a hated rival? Not from a technical or mechanical standpoint. We do what we do, but with a lot more emotion, which tends to help with the focus and effort. Then, when the day comes where weíre up 4 scores, all of our players understand the significance of going up 5. If you think thatís silly or unnecessary, then more power to you. For me, itís why I drive 20 miles each way, give up hunting and miss my sonís hockey games.

Another wise man is fond of saying ďthereís nothing nice about football.Ē

Most people do what they think is best, but most people are often not actually doing what is best.  That's where collaboration such as Dumcoach is great.  It was a good talk.  Your rhetoric has clearly changed.

It does not change the fact that 7 year olds are going to be 7 year olds, and your best efforts to drum up the past as motivation is going to be a waste of breath.

Offline COACH JC

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Re: Ego
« Reply #96 on: November 06, 2018, 05:28:12 PM »
I try not to live inside my own head too much, so I don't make a habit of examining why something touches me off, but here goes. I have a hockey background. It's a game played  with honor and respect. You'd be surprised at some of the things that touch off a brawl, but a big one is disrespecting your opponent. Scoring a goal, then going to the other team's bench and pretending like your stick is a rifle or bow and arrow.

Anyway, I'm the first one to congratulate the stud RB and tell him how badly he kicked our butt. Coach having a go at my players? Yeah, it pissed me off. Seeing how it affected my players pissed me off even more.

Gorwing up playing street ball probably hardened me to trash talk. I can def see how a hockey/baseball background could change how you view that stuff.

As far as your player reactions. Itís possible itís due to how you guys reacted to it? When our players cry about the other team/coaches saying stuff, I donít even entertain it. I tell em we talk w/ our pads & I donít want to hear one word whining about what the other team did.

Iím all for revenge so long as it doesnít come at the expense of the kids. As much as iíd like to clock some D-bag coach, i know itís counter to my philosophy on whooping teams. So I just try to stay the course. Thereís no better revenge than whooping a D-bag w/ class & business like attitude.

Of course iíve failed to live up to this standard plenty of times.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2018, 05:42:00 PM by COACH JC »
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Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #97 on: November 06, 2018, 05:33:54 PM »
I wont give a rats ass about a prior game anymore, until the rules change and points can carry over week to week.  Until then, I am preaching going 1-0 every week.

^ Dang Brian, I am going to have to start up a "Brian Quotes" folder on my laptop.

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Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #98 on: November 06, 2018, 05:35:51 PM »
Of course iíve failed to live up to this standard plenty of times.

And Jake that's where you'll find your greatest personal growth because you recognize where you've failed.  That probably puts you ahead of 3/4s of the coaches I know.

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

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Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #99 on: November 06, 2018, 05:39:42 PM »
And you are correct, I do not have to stay here.  I have other options to coach or I could just quit.  Or I could get those 3 beasts off my schedule and win every year. ;D

Maybe road-trips and mentoring is the ticket.  I never tried that.

If it's truly in your blood, for better or for worse, then your two options are find a better gig, or make your gig better.  I'm always trying to find how I can make my gig better.  Most times, I try to think outside the box: What haven't we done, that we could do, that no one else does?

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement:
"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope

Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #100 on: November 06, 2018, 05:43:45 PM »
Another wise man is fond of saying ďthereís nothing nice about football.Ē

Hmmm.  Yeah.  That's another good one.

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement:
"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope

Offline COACH JC

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Re: Ego
« Reply #101 on: November 06, 2018, 05:54:06 PM »
And Jake that's where you'll find your greatest personal growth because you recognize where you've failed.  That probably puts you ahead of 3/4s of the coaches I know.

--Dave

I have to apologize at least once a week. lol. This last week I threw one of our water bottles on the ground during the game. I instantly regreted it, and iíll aplogize to my team today.

The week prior in an attempt to explain the gravity of our upcoming game, I told the team that the reg season meant nothing, & if we lose this upcoming game, weíre done. Now, I didnít mean it the way it came out, I just wanted them to understand their season could end if they didnít leave it all out there. But it came off as if all the work they had done, all the wins etc etc meant nothing. I realized the effects of my words when during our playoff game our boys were crying cuz they thought they might lose and have their season go down the drain.

Anyhow, iím constantly trying to reflect and be a better role model. I mean, iím literally the person in charge of teaching them how to handle competition & sport. Thatís a big job w/ a ton of responsibility.
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Offline mahonz

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Re: Ego
« Reply #102 on: November 06, 2018, 06:49:22 PM »
I'm not, Mike.  It certainly provides a discourse that practically every coach has been involved with, on one side or the other.

--Dave

Yes...but the discourse gets a little to barfy for me.  :)







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Offline 32wedge

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Re: Ego
« Reply #103 on: November 06, 2018, 07:04:20 PM »
Yes...but the discourse gets a little to barfy for me.  :)

it's "too" barfy ;D ;D

Offline spidermac

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Re: Ego
« Reply #104 on: November 07, 2018, 09:30:19 AM »
Interesting to read the thread topic of "ego" and then read the posts (from the OP all the way to the end).  The irony is unreal.


I'm not sure that you know what Irony means...you might, but as you didn't really add anything to the discussion I don't know for sure...regardless...

I started the topic...why shouldn't I continue to contribute?

I am not a perfect guy, or a perfect coach, but I am me, and most of the time I like me...and yes, sometimes my ego gets in my way, but I try not to let it effect they way I coach...
None of them suck, they just haven't found what the kid is good at yet.