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Author Topic: Ego  (Read 1945 times)

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Offline coachmiket

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Re: Ego
« Reply #105 on: November 07, 2018, 11:05:25 AM »
The older I get, the more I realize that more often than not the best "revenge" you can get on people like the coaches this thread is focusing in on is to just live your life, be happy and ignore the crazy stuff they do.

You do you.  Nothing else matters.

To that end, if you're a vindictive person, then I guess you're at least staying true to yourself by seeking that revenge factor.  :)

We get a lot of seminar training in the district I coach in and Tim and Brian Kight have been very involved with us with their E+R=O stuff.  I'm trying to get better at it, but it has become more of a sticking point in my life. I have a long ways to go, but I'm trying to get there.  I find myself talking to myself a lot when things like this come up.  I can't control what others do, I can only control what I do.  Also trying to get my own children to understand that as they navigate the high school world. 

I also struggle with "karma" and wondering if it's a real thing.  But I do often find that when you do good things and just try to do things the right way, things tend to come out better for you sooner or later.  I don't know if that's just the peace of mind if gives you or if it really is the universe responding to your good living. 

I now step down from my soapbox.  ;D

Offline angalton

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Re: Ego
« Reply #106 on: November 08, 2018, 12:56:24 PM »
A little context. For me, at least, it wasn't about trying to score at the end. Ref asked the on-field coach if he was going to take a knee and the answer was no. Another coach on our sideline took exception to this and threw out the word "classless". My take is that we work all week, watch film and generally prepare to play football, so let's play some damn football.

It was the opposing coach's attitude that I will remember if the situation is ever flipped. The other team took about a dozen block in the back, blindside, late hit and "piling on" penalties. This also happened in the game where I scouted them. Instead of fixing his team's behavior, he opted instead to act like a child to the point that the white hat said, "One more word and you are ejected."

It wasn't that he tried his best to score at the end, and to me, it wasn't so much that he used his stud back. It was the volume, tone and body language when he told the ref he wasn't taking a knee. He was making a point. Point taken. I like to make points, too and I'm confident that we'll get the chance to make that point in the future.

If the coach is an asshole, then why have any nice feelings. Just cut him no slack and smile as you do it. I let things slide for coaches, at weigh ins or whatever pregame stuff we have to do. If they are just dick coaches, well they better have everything perfect. They are cut no slack. On the football field stuff, I am always trying to win and expect the other coach to be doing the same. Some people are just cocksucker's and better not slip.
The greatest accomplishment is not in never failing, but in rising again after you fail.

Offline Coach TonyM

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Re: Ego
« Reply #107 on: November 08, 2018, 03:07:35 PM »
And yet Robert, it seems to be the expectation when a losing coach can't handle being a losing coach.  "Now we have to play the rest of the game making sure that we don't hurt our opponent's feelings."

--Dave

I hate to lose. Cannot stand it.  What a sore loser some say.   No, because I always look back and say how did I let this happen to my kids?  What do I need to get better at? Tackling, Blocking, execution, conditioning, etc.   Usually comes down to the first three.. Circle of Death takes care of the fourth.  Winning is not why I do this.  I do not really enjoy winning.  Winning is a byproduct of preparation.  So if I lose,  I have not prepared enough.  Get better at the little things, and harder to lose.   When I step on the field,  I expect my team to win.  I game plan for my opponent. I scout them for hours.  Pour over film to find holes on both sides of the ball.  Sometimes it is not enough.  Sometimes it just falls apart.  That is very hard for me to swallow.  I cannot accept that.  You have to prepare.  But how do you prepare for 6 lost fumbles in a game?  Never seen anything like it in a game that I was involved in.  Yet that is how we ended the season.  Lost to a team that was much inferior, and they flat out beat us.   So I am adding much more time to ball control to my practice plans.   A little more whose ball is it too dang it.

Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: Ego
« Reply #108 on: November 09, 2018, 11:37:01 AM »
If the coach is an asshole, then why have any nice feelings. Just cut him no slack and smile as you do it. I let things slide for coaches, at weigh ins or whatever pregame stuff we have to do. If they are just dick coaches, well they better have everything perfect. They are cut no slack. On the football field stuff, I am always trying to win and expect the other coach to be doing the same. Some people are just cocksucker's and better not slip.

Thanks for that. I just lost a good friend to a senseless hunting accident, so I'm fresh out of "filter". So no more sugar-coating it. I try to be a nice guy.  I really do. 99% of the time, it works out that way. I get along with other coaches and we all walk away with a nice warm fuzzy feeling that we're all good guys. Hell, we had a game this year vs a team who rolled out 11 players. We really like their staff. Really doing things the right way. Shared film with them, invited them over for a scrimmage. So when they would have an "injury", Mahonz would take a player or two out of the game so that it would be 10 on 10 or 9 on 9. That was nice. I was really proud of Mahonz for that and proud to be on the same sideline. I like that stuff.

Yet . . . there's a really dark side to me that is usually dormant, but it comes out when I don't like what's going on with the opposite sideline. That part of me is petty, vindictive and childish. Whatever. I'm not going to apologize for "that guy". Just know that if you piss him off by disrespecting his players, some day "that guy" might have the opportunity to hang 70 on you and chances are, he will. If he doesn't, it's because "Liberal Gumby" (as Mahonz calls him) was able to keep him at bay. Compare me to divorced parents using the kids against each other all you want. Really doesn't matter to me and I see no point in debating it. I will do me and my players will be better off for it.
Mission Statement: To create a Football Family that our players and parents can't imagine not being a part of.

Offline SingleWingGoombah

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Re: Ego
« Reply #109 on: November 09, 2018, 11:47:24 AM »
If the coach is an asshole, then why have any nice feelings. Just cut him no slack and smile as you do it. I let things slide for coaches, at weigh ins or whatever pregame stuff we have to do. If they are just dick coaches, well they better have everything perfect. They are cut no slack. On the football field stuff, I am always trying to win and expect the other coach to be doing the same. Some people are just cocksucker's and better not slip.

If the coach is an asshole, why care?  Isn't it all about the kids anyways?  We all have a finite amount of energy, and attention to give.  Any given towards asshole coach is not given to the kids on your team.

I get the notion, I have had the same thoughts... oh this coach is an ass or if I ever get a chance for revenge, I am taking it.  But then I realized I am making it about me.  And I would be using my players as pawns in my revenge scheme.  That would make me the asshole now too. 

Offline CoachDP

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Re: Ego
« Reply #110 on: November 09, 2018, 11:59:15 AM »
I get the notion, I have had the same thoughts... oh this coach is an ass or if I ever get a chance for revenge, I am taking it.  But then I realized I am making it about me.  And I would be using my players as pawns in my revenge scheme.  That would make me the asshole now too.

Again, I agree with you Brian.  Not going to use my kids to further a negative cause that I have against some guy that my kids had no involvement with. 

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

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Offline Dusty Ol Fart

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Re: Ego
« Reply #111 on: November 09, 2018, 12:47:13 PM »
Voodoo!  Just sayn.    :P   :D

Not MPP... ONE TASK!  Teach them!  :)

Offline angalton

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Re: Ego
« Reply #112 on: November 09, 2018, 06:41:30 PM »
If the coach is an asshole, why care?  Isn't it all about the kids anyways?  We all have a finite amount of energy, and attention to give.  Any given towards asshole coach is not given to the kids on your team.

I get the notion, I have had the same thoughts... oh this coach is an ass or if I ever get a chance for revenge, I am taking it.  But then I realized I am making it about me.  And I would be using my players as pawns in my revenge scheme.  That would make me the asshole now too.

Not revenge, just matter of fact. I will lose no sleep over it.
The greatest accomplishment is not in never failing, but in rising again after you fail.