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Author Topic: What would you do in my situation?  (Read 1655 times)

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Offline Dimson

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What would you do in my situation?
« on: November 29, 2018, 01:35:25 PM »
As some or all of you know, my team's season ended in the first week of the play offs when we lost 13-0 to a team we had previously tied 0-0. Unfortunately our HC(who ran everything) had to go out of town on family business the day of the game and so our 10U staff took over our team and it did not go well. As 3rd party observers have told me after the game, we looked confused and unorganized(being with a team part time for one week will do that to ya). Well that was supposed to end our season but I just found out we have been invited to play in the AAU tournament and we are going as long as we raise the money to pay the entrance fee. My conundrum is I was done with our team after the game due to how our season ended. I was frustrated beyond belief and said to myself I wouldn't be back even if we got an at large bid.
Well now we got the bid and now I can't decide what do I do? Do I go back and coach and do it for the kids(if I don't go only the HC will be the only official coach left) or do I just sit this out as I know I will be miserable because of the coaching situation? I am really on the fence on what to do. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Offline CoachDP

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2018, 01:41:41 PM »
If the header wants you there, then go and finish it out.  It's just one more game.  On the other hand, if he doesn't want you there, then....

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement:
"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope

Offline Coach E

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2018, 01:44:44 PM »
I'm with Dave on this one...finish it out. Why not? I'm not sure what was so toxic about the environment, other than the confusion that arose from the header being absent.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
- Marcus Aurelius

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2018, 01:45:20 PM »
If the header wants you there, then go and finish it out.  It's just one more game.  On the other hand, if he doesn't want you there, then....

--Dave
It isn't just one more game but I know what you mean. If he doesn't want me there, then that makes the decision kind of easy, lol. The thing is, unless he brings in another coach from another staff, he is going to need me.

Offline 32wedge

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2018, 01:48:24 PM »
I would tough it out even if I didn't really want to because I hate the thought of quitting.  If you have been with that group of kids the whole season so far, you might regret not finishing it with them.

That's the way I would look at, but whether to coach or not is up to you and I would not judge that decision right or wrong either way.

 

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2018, 01:50:13 PM »
I'm with Dave on this one...finish it out. Why not? I'm not sure what was so toxic about the environment, other than the confusion that arose from the header being absent.
O.k a little back story. I was told at the beginning of the season i would be taking over the offense from our header because he didn't want to be on the field the whole game because he is also the 14u OC and Pres of the Org. Well that never happened. Then he went out of town for his anniversary so I was supposed to take over the team and run things for that game. What does he do, he brings in a 10u coach top run the team and we lose 7-6. Then we get the dance scenario for the play off game and one again he brings in 10u instead of me running the team and we lose 13-0 and I don't even think we got a first down(I missed the first quarter). So there you have the background of my full frustration.

Offline Coach E

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2018, 01:54:21 PM »
O.k a little back story. I was told at the beginning of the season i would be taking over the offense from our header because he didn't want to be on the field the whole game because he is also the 14u OC and Pres of the Org. Well that never happened. Then he went out of town for his anniversary so I was supposed to take over the team and run things for that game. What does he do, he brings in a 10u coach top run the team and we lose 7-6. Then we get the dance scenario for the play off game and one again he brings in 10u instead of me running the team and we lose 13-0 and I don't even think we got a first down(I missed the first quarter). So there you have the background of my full frustration.
Ah. OK. I understand the frustration.

I still might lean towards finishing it out, though, only because of any relationships you've developed with players and their parents. Have you asked if he wants you there? That might be an interesting conversation.
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
- Marcus Aurelius

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2018, 02:06:39 PM »
Ah. OK. I understand the frustration.

I still might lean towards finishing it out, though, only because of any relationships you've developed with players and their parents. Have you asked if he wants you there? That might be an interesting conversation.
We are supposed to have practice tonight, not sure if he will be there or not. I have no idea what the plans are for me. My guess is he will want me there and my guess is he will tell me "we'll see" or "I'll think about it" if I ask him about being on the field for nationals. So if he is the only one on the field, I will spend my time just sending in kids in whenever he asks for subs. So pretty much I will be a glorified Dad helper(though I have no kids on the field).

Offline coachmiket

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2018, 02:55:45 PM »
What are your future plans with this organization?  Do you have hopes or plans to continue coaching with them next season and beyond?  If so, you might want to "tough it out" as most are suggesting.  It won't look good on your "resume" if you want to stay with them but you "bailed" on them when things weren't going your way.

You need to be aware of any potential bridges you may burn.

On the other hand, if you're not returning to this organization next season then I don't think there is anything wrong with sitting this out.  Your season DID end.  You didn't quit on the kids. Nobody had any original plans of playing in this extra tournament.  You fulfilled your obligation.  And honestly, as much as we always say it's all about the kids, when do we get to stop and consider ourselves for a moment?  If it's a frustrating situation and you don't see a future with this org, then why do you need to subject yourself to any further frustration? 

Offline CoachDP

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2018, 03:02:36 PM »
O.k a little back story. I was told at the beginning of the season i would be taking over the offense from our header because he didn't want to be on the field the whole game because he is also the 14u OC and Pres of the Org. Well that never happened. Then he went out of town for his anniversary so I was supposed to take over the team and run things for that game. What does he do, he brings in a 10u coach top run the team and we lose 7-6. Then we get the dance scenario for the play off game and one again he brings in 10u instead of me running the team and we lose 13-0 and I don't even think we got a first down(I missed the first quarter). So there you have the background of my full frustration.

I get the frustration, but be a professional.

Which means more, your love for the players or your disrespect for the coach?  I've had several headers that I absolutely couldn't stand.  It didn't impact how I felt about the players, though.

--Dave
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement:
"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #10 on: November 29, 2018, 03:21:04 PM »
What are your future plans with this organization?  Do you have hopes or plans to continue coaching with them next season and beyond?  If so, you might want to "tough it out" as most are suggesting.  It won't look good on your "resume" if you want to stay with them but you "bailed" on them when things weren't going your way.

You need to be aware of any potential bridges you may burn.

On the other hand, if you're not returning to this organization next season then I don't think there is anything wrong with sitting this out.  Your season DID end.  You didn't quit on the kids. Nobody had any original plans of playing in this extra tournament.  You fulfilled your obligation.  And honestly, as much as we always say it's all about the kids, when do we get to stop and consider ourselves for a moment?  If it's a frustrating situation and you don't see a future with this org, then why do you need to subject yourself to any further frustration?
My future with this organization is up in the air to be honest. Right now I am deciding where to coach and where my son is going to play what could be his last season of youth football. We could stay where I am now, but to be honest my son hasn't had the best experiences with the org I am at now. There is no min play rule so he might not get much playing time or even any in close games(he is a smart kid but he lacks size and athletic ability) or I could go to a PW org I have coached at in the past. There I know my son will get plenty of PT. He will be an older lighter and they have of course mandatory plays. I may or may not have a group to coach with there as they usually have full staffs every year. We shall see.

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #11 on: November 29, 2018, 03:24:49 PM »
I get the frustration, but be a professional.

Which means more, your love for the players or your disrespect for the coach?  I've had several headers that I absolutely couldn't stand.  It didn't impact how I felt about the players, though.

--Dave
I get what you are saying, but when is enough, enough? Don't get me wrong, I love my players and they are why I haven't walked away to this point but I am not good at hiding my feelings as I wear my heart on my sleeve. I hate feeling helpless, especially when I have an absentee HC who only wants to plat HC when it is game time.

Offline CoachDP

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #12 on: November 29, 2018, 03:28:28 PM »
I get what you are saying, but when is enough, enough?

I get it.  As I said, I've worked for headers that I absolutely could not stand.  The easy thing to do is to sit at home and say, "F 'em."  The much harder thing to do is to make the drive.  I've worked for lazy, lying, cowards.  But I had agreed to do a job.

--Dave
« Last Edit: November 29, 2018, 03:31:43 PM by CoachDP »
"The Greater the Teacher, the More Powerful the Player."

The Mission Statement:
"I want to show any young man that he is far tougher than he thinks, that he can accomplish more than what he dreamed and that his work ethic will take him wherever he wants to go." #BattleReady newhope

Offline MHcoach

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #13 on: November 29, 2018, 04:23:32 PM »
C

This isn't about next year it's about this year. I agree with DP, be a professional & finish what you started.

Joe
"Champions behave like champions before they're champions: they have a winning standard of performance before they are winners"
Bill Walsh

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2018, 04:40:08 PM »
C

This isn't about next year it's about this year. I agree with DP, be a professional & finish what you started.

Joe
I guess I have sucked it up to this point. Might as well bight my tongue and finish it out.