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Author Topic: What would you do in my situation?  (Read 1661 times)

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Offline coachmiket

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2018, 11:24:24 AM »
C

This isn't about next year it's about this year. I agree with DP, be a professional & finish what you started.

Joe

I pretty much agree.  But I'll play devil's advocate.....

Unless I'm mistaken, he's not a "professional" in the sense that he's under contract to "finish what he started".  He's a volunteer that volunteered to coach the team this season.  The season ended.  This was an additional opportunity after everyone had already pretty much packed it up and closed up shop.

And before anyone comes back with the "what message is he sending the kids? is it ok to be a quitter now?" responses, no it's not ok to just up and quit something you committed to just because it wasn't what you hoped it would be.  He has sent the proper message by staying with this team throughout the entire season even though he was ignored and passed over several times when the head coach could not be there.  To that end, if "sucks it up" and rides this out even more at this point, is he now sending the message that it's ok to stick around in a toxic environment where you are not valued?

Just coming at this from a different angle.

Offline Monster

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2018, 11:33:38 AM »
I pretty much agree.  But I'll play devil's advocate.....

Unless I'm mistaken, he's not a "professional" in the sense that he's under contract to "finish what he started".  He's a volunteer that volunteered to coach the team this season.  The season ended.  This was an additional opportunity after everyone had already pretty much packed it up and closed up shop.

And before anyone comes back with the "what message is he sending the kids? is it ok to be a quitter now?" responses, no it's not ok to just up and quit something you committed to just because it wasn't what you hoped it would be.  He has sent the proper message by staying with this team throughout the entire season even though he was ignored and passed over several times when the head coach could not be there.  To that end, if "sucks it up" and rides this out even more at this point, is he now sending the message that it's ok to stick around in a toxic environment where you are not valued?

Just coming at this from a different angle.

And I think that's a valid angle. While "quitting" is never a good thing, at what point do you stop putting in good effort towards a bad situation?
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Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2018, 11:46:34 AM »
Going back to the most toxic environment I ever coached in AND pretending that my son wasn't on that team . . . I would go back and coach the last game. My relationship with the kids is the most important thing to me and I'm willing to put up with all manner of bullshit on their behalf. That said, I wouldn't blame you if you walked away.
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Offline MHcoach

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2018, 11:57:16 AM »
Coaching isn't about getting paid. Acting like a professional is just that. All season coaches talk about never quiting & we are a family. I just believe you have to practice what you peach.

Joe
"Champions behave like champions before they're champions: they have a winning standard of performance before they are winners"
Bill Walsh

Offline coachmiket

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2018, 12:00:15 PM »
Coaching isn't about getting paid. Acting like a professional is just that. All season coaches talk about never quiting & we are a family. I just believe you have to practice what you peach.

Joe

I wasn't referring to getting paid either.  I was more referring to being under a binding obligation.  At what point does the obligation of a volunteer coach end?  When can he say, "you know what, the season ended, it wasn't a good fit for me. Time to move on"?

To me, part of being a professional is knowing when to fold and move on.  It's not professional to stay in a toxic environment.

« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 12:02:25 PM by coachmiket »

Offline coachmiket

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #20 on: November 30, 2018, 12:04:04 PM »
Going back to the most toxic environment I ever coached in AND pretending that my son wasn't on that team . . . I would go back and coach the last game. My relationship with the kids is the most important thing to me and I'm willing to put up with all manner of bullshit on their behalf. That said, I wouldn't blame you if you walked away.

If this additional tournament would have been on the schedule or discussed before their final game, then I would definitely say you have to stay and finish the season.  But to most parties involved, it sounds like the season ended and then a little while later someone said "hey, wait!"


Offline MHcoach

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2018, 12:43:41 PM »
Mike

I get your point, and I am willing to bet it was discussed somewhere. Knowing Dimson as I do, I believe it would be in his best interest to finish what he started even if he won't be there next season.

Joe
"Champions behave like champions before they're champions: they have a winning standard of performance before they are winners"
Bill Walsh

Offline lobwedge

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2018, 01:37:48 PM »
Dimson,

I think you earn a ton of respect by those who know your situation by gutting it out for your team. It was probably not the situation that you thought you were signing up for, but has become a toxic environment. When your feelings begin to get to you, just look at those kids suited up to play. Do the best you can with this bad situation and know that it is only for a short time. Make your preparations for next year and learn from this year. It sounds like this coach has plenty of built in excuses for the teams performance, but what about next year when the staff isn't there. When assistant coaches continue to leave, maybe it's the head coach after all. Keep your head up.

Offline Bob Goodman

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2018, 01:54:36 PM »
Dimson, what difference does it make to the players in either practice or a game whether you're there or not, with that HC?

Offline Dimson

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2018, 03:09:27 PM »
Dimson, what difference does it make to the players in either practice or a game whether you're there or not, with that HC?
In practice, if the HC is there, then not much. If he isn't there, then it makes a big difference as there would be only one coach at practice. His 14u and high school coaching obligation is now over so he should be at every practice from here on out.
In games it matters if I am not there because in our age group 1 coach is always on the field and I would be the only other remaining coach on the sidelines(long story). I am usually responsible for running the subs in but at the last game me and the HC coached in, he kindly asked me to stop sending in subs unless he asked for them. So for the rest for the game I was just a water boy. I expect much of the same for nationals. I am pretty much the errand boy at this point during games, lol.

Offline angalton

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2018, 03:53:13 PM »
Do it and have fun with it. I mean seriously have fun, what is he going to do, tell you to leave. Keep the kids loose and coach them from the sideline. Insert yourself in fixing things at halftime.
The greatest accomplishment is not in never failing, but in rising again after you fail.

Offline CoachDP

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2018, 05:20:40 PM »
Unless I'm mistaken, he's not a "professional" in the sense that he's under contract to "finish what he started".  He's a volunteer that volunteered to coach the team this season.  The season ended.  This was an additional opportunity after everyone had already pretty much packed it up and closed up shop.

Evidently, the season hasn't ended, because they are still playing ballgames.  So if the kids are going to play, then they will need to be coached.  That won't happen if Chris isn't there.  You can still carry yourself as a professional regardless of whether or not you're paid, have signed a contract, or simply volunteering.

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Offline CoachDavidP

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #27 on: November 30, 2018, 06:51:48 PM »
If you are only going to stand on the side and play waterboy, then donít bother. But if you take every opportunity you have to coach the kids you say you are there for, then finish the season with them. Pretty simple in my mind.
David (Fizzlife)

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Offline CHARLIEDONTSURF

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #28 on: November 30, 2018, 07:54:07 PM »
Don't place your integrity at the mercy of another man's goodwill.  To hell with the head coach.  Honor your commitment, finish the season, and go home knowing you're a man who --beg, borrow, suffer or steal-- gives back a thing better than he gets it.  Tomorrow is a new day.

Good luck.

Offline Dusty Ol Fart

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Re: What would you do in my situation?
« Reply #29 on: November 30, 2018, 09:43:14 PM »
Dude don't give into it.  Show up, do the duty.  Kids will appreciate it!    Honestly, you will too.


The role is not as important as the message sent!  :)


Not MPP... ONE TASK!  Teach them!  :)