When the parents start to turn

[MiamiHuskers]

  How do you guys handle the meddling parents who think their kids should be either playing more OR a different position? We did all the player evaluations etc...won our jamboree game 6-0(vs a division 1 team-we are division 2) and won our first game 25-0. Yet this week I have had no less then 3 parents approach the coaching staff and say "you guys are doing a great job BUT..."
1. 1 of our stud defensive players wants to be on offense
2. 1 of our WB's Dad wants his son to carry the ball more
3. 1 of our Bear Crawlers is getting bored and should have a better position
4. 1 of our BB's is a good blocker but fumbles and is hesitant when running---of course he wants to run the ball now
No we all know the blatant truth but you can't present it to the parents that way. The only 1 I can kind of understand is the WB player----but the team we played last week NEVER adjusted their front so we hit them right on almost every play---the 1 reverse we ran to the WB was for a minus 3 yards.  How do you gain control before it gets out of hand?

[Belebuch]

It ALWAYS gets out of hand. I doubt you will find a coach who has 100% backing by the parents. There is always a dad who thinks his son is the best RB or QB on the team. There is always a parent who thinks their son should be at another position on the other side of the ball. just my 2 from my limited experience.

[msnyder]

Address them before the season and tell them that positions, playing time and the systems and play calling are locked topics and won't be discussed, then when they come to you week 3 say "hey remember the parents meeting or letter, these topics are not for debate, coaches decisions" then walk away... end of discussion!

[Belebuch]

How bout.
I coach, YOU cheer.
if the job was so easy they would be doing it.

[mrdeadeye]

I give em 3 options now:

The Whistle, The Refund, Or the Muzzle.

TW

[Belebuch]

NICE! 

Ill have to remember that one

[mahonz]

No we all know the blatant truth but you can't present it to the parents that way.

Why not?  Honesty goes a long way.

I am always open to "suggestions" in the pre season. I will place little Johnny in the RB EDD's or have Mongo run thru a few QB/ WR concentration drills. No big deal and its wasting time but it does prove a point for when the chips are down.

Once the season starts....there is no debate with any parent. Its in their contract...literally.

One...think about how much additional time you would be away from YOUR family if you listened to the peanut gallery and two...think about how disjointed your systems would become if you actually took the peanut galleries advise.

Coach Mike

[LPcoachchuck]

Had a dad last night pull his kid from practice.  He's a starting guard on O and plays the entire game.  Good kid that seems to be having fun and is actually good at what he's asked to do.  The dad would not speak with the coaches but apparently told parents as he was walking off that his son is a QB or RB and this was BS.  Sad for the kid since he seems to be enjoying the experience but what are you gonna do.  The HC had the requisite speach before the 1st practice and told the parents positions are decided by the coaching staff and that was the bottom line. 

Away game tomorrow an hour away.  Hope the kid shows but won't be expecting him.  The youth sports soap opera will never be cancelled.

[Belebuch]

If parents had their way there would be no Oline.

[coachgregory]

Had a dad last night pull his kid from practice.  He's a starting guard on O and plays the entire game.  Good kid that seems to be having fun and is actually good at what he's asked to do.  The dad would not speak with the coaches but apparently told parents as he was walking off that his son is a QB or RB and this was BS.  Sad for the kid since he seems to be enjoying the experience but what are you gonna do.  The HC had the requisite speach before the 1st practice and told the parents positions are decided by the coaching staff and that was the bottom line. 

Away game tomorrow an hour away.  Hope the kid shows but won't be expecting him.  The youth sports soap opera will never be cancelled.

No matter how good a player is if a parent is poison you don't want them playing for you...it leads to more problems than they will ever be worth.  I actually cull out poison parents in my evals...  I simply don't put up with them and in the process my teams gel fast and it sets a very quick standard of NO BS from parents...

Jack

[CoachDP]

I have (several) parents meetings before (and during) the season which not only keeps the lines of communication open, but also lets them see there's a method to the madness.  We explain the system, how positions are determined and the MPR Rule.  We discuss how the MPR Rule dictates certain strategy and we provide examples.  I let parents know they have access to me 24/7 and I provide them with my home phone, work phone, cell phone and email addresses.  We let parents know that a game day strategy  involves winning the game, managing the MPR Rule and trying to stay out of the Slaughter Rule and we give examples of various scenarios in which our strategy may look unusual to those who don't follow the youth football game.  In my experience, the more information that parents have information about your methods and approach, the better your relationship is.  We don't have problems with parents and I don't get suggestions from the peanut gallery.

--Dave

[CoachDP]

"No matter how good a player is if a parent is poison you don't want them playing for you"

--Bingo.

"it leads to more problems than they will ever be worth."

--True enough.

"I actually cull out poison parents in my evals...  I simply don't put up with them and in the process my teams gel fast and it sets a very quick standard of NO BS from parents..."

--That's the right approach.  Perhaps it's my direct manner, but I don't get parents challenging me.  And if they are unhappy about things, they keep it to themselves.  Players aren't the only thing I'll get rid of.

--Dave

[CBuerk]

I'm pretty fortunate...thus far. I had a kid come in a little overweight. Not fat, but we're weight restricted for eligable positions. He needed to lose 5 lbs. I told his father, good guy, that he's a lineman until weighiin. The kid (11yrs) can throw a 25yd rope accurately.
I had him at G but as he lost the weight, prior to weigh-in, I moved him to TE telling him that if I wanted him at QB after weigh-in, the switch to that position is easier than QB to OL. BTW, he catches everything.

He made weight.Dad asked, "now what?" I said, "now he's eligable to play TE."

Not what the family of kid wanted to hear, but it's best for the team. So far, they're not giving me any grief about it.

That said, we'll install Wildcat in 2 weeks and he'll be the QB. Only the staff is aware of this.

[6burkes]

All those pre-season talks don't mean anything if the "coach" doesn't do the right thing. Pretty much everyone says what they are supposed to say, but in my experience if they fail to back up the words they open the door for discontent.

I watched a scrimmage the other day for a team that has one of the coaches kids playing fullback. I was standing there watching the scrimmage and heard several of the parents complaining that one of the new kids (new to the team, has been playing several seasons somewhere else) is much better. While I watched, I think they ran behind the fullback 3 or 4 times for no gain. Ran the fullback for a 2 yard loss. They put the "new" kid in and all of a sudden they are getting 10-20 yard gains. Coach comes over and says to the parents that the new kid would be a great Fullback if the team didn't already have one.

When coaches just repeat what they think they should be saying, and then do everything BUT that, they deserve to be second guessed and criticized.

[KFMagee]

Hmmm.... I have three common answers, depending on the "angle" of the parent:

1)" My son would have more fun playing QB" (or RB or Middle Linebacker -whatever):
"Every boy would have more fun playing QB... but I don't have any formations in my playbook with 11 QB's on the field.  So my son plays Guard, and yours plays Center because I'm sure they both wants to have the most success for the team they can, and feel like they contribute their best skills to the position that let's them do that.  This is why I have my son at Guard, and yours at Center."

2) "My son would be better at RB than the other boy":
I also address the MPR rule when a parent says "Couldn't you just switch my little Bobby with Tommy so Bobby can run the ball"?    I explain "Well, then Tommy will have to move to his next natual position, which is currently Johhny's spot, so then Johnny has to move to his next spot, which now belongs to Sammy.... so me moving your one boy means half the team get's moved around to new positions... so tell you what, you devise an entire roster showing where every boy should play, just to get your son the ball.  If all the coaches like your linup better than ours, and all the other parents feel moving your son is important enough to make their boys move out of their position, then we'll do it!"....

3)" I don't agree with your play calling":
The key thing I let the parents know is "I have done this for 12 years, and volunteered thousands of hours to my coaching.  If you really have this much interest in player evaluation, training, scheme development, and play calling,  you should consider signing up as a coach next year to try it out... but for now, we are going to have to move forward playing the best jersey at the most likely position"

Coach Magee