Author Topic: Odd situation with some Players  (Read 5158 times)

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Offline mahonz

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Odd situation with some Players
« on: May 06, 2017, 10:09:12 AM »
I know how the HS College and NFL folks would handle this but Im at a loss as a Youth Coach.

Three of our players broke into a school and stole a bunch of electronics. The ONLY reason us coaches even know about this is one of the Parents from my Fall team has been open about it because I know her pretty well. Thing is she has two sons playing on our Spring team and the one that got busted is the older brother. The younger brother that plays on our Fall team was not involved.

The other two players are from different Fall teams  with one being a rookie this Spring so I do not know their parents at all. I do not make it a point to get to know any of them unless they approach me because its Spring ball. Just a friendly hello every now and then. None of the parents from these two families have mentioned anything to any Staff member.

The one parent that did communicate with me I had to draw more info out of her because she didn't want to "out" any of the other players...only her own son.

Odd.

If it were my son he would be done with football this Spring and I would have told the Staff as much. These kids are at practice and carrying on business as usual. Two have been charged with a felony and all three will be missing every Thursdays Practice from here on out so they can attend their Diversion Program as part of their sentence. Since the School District is the Victim they have to approve the Diversion Program.

I have no clue if the parents are going to be truthful when their sons start missing practice or come up with excuses.

None of us coaches really know what to do. If we cut them and these parents take issue with the League, will the League back us? Since this happened away from football are the consequences going on away from football enough? If we take any action by benching them it will bring attention to a situation and other Players will ask questions.  If these parents wont even share with us, will they take issues with the Staff taking any further action and bringing attention to their own sons?

I cant lie to the Players if they ask whats up....can I?

If it were one player then I think I'd know what to do....but its 3 players.

Thoughts?

« Last Edit: May 06, 2017, 10:13:19 AM by mahonz »
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Offline Test Account

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2017, 10:14:50 AM »
You treat them like you would your son. I do not know how that is a question. If the league wont back, it is no skin off your back. The message has been sent. The players know where the line is with the coaches.

And if the league doesn't back you, I would have other rather severe measures in place to accommodate the league ruling.
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Offline davecisar

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2017, 10:16:17 AM »
Without confession and repentance there is no forgiveness

However- if they are good kids that did a one off
If they confess and repent then you figure out a way they can play with some type of penalty
If they want to sweep it under the rug- not so much JMO- tough one
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

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Offline PSLCOACHROB

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2017, 01:34:34 PM »
I think you making it known that juveniles committed a felony may have some repurcussions. There may be some privacy issues.

Offline coacho

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2017, 01:41:01 PM »
I can help dumb and can't fix stupid! Good kids do really dumb things! If that's the case I would agree with Coach Cisar. I'm all for making it a big time learning experience. Also, as a parent I would hope the kids parents would appreciate your understanding, help and guidance. Finally, other forces may be controlling their participation and freedom.

Offline Bob Goodman

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2017, 02:23:31 PM »
Suppose instead of 2 kids in the diversion program, you had 2 kids who said they had to miss Thurs. practices because they were going to do volunteer work, or some other project or activity.  Would you let them continue the season?

If not, then why would you allow the 2 in the diversion program continue?

I have a situation with a community college student who was doing very well in the chem lab I'm teaching (mostly A grades, the lowest a single B), but then disappeared.  She didn't contact me for a long time, but now has a very unusual story as to why she's missed so much, and I believe it because part of it is embarrassing (unless it's to cover for something even more embarrassing).  Still, I wouldn't feel comfortable letting her finish the course by coming in next week and doing her research present'n, even though she could pass the course even with all the missed labs as F grades.  Lab courses are so much about doing stuff that I think I'm going to have to grade her as "F - no show" and maybe she can arrange with the administration to make it up later.  In lecture courses I was never a stickler about attendance, just requiring the minimum dictated to me by financial aid rules, but lab's different.

Offline tiger46

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2017, 03:38:18 PM »

...These kids are at practice and carrying on business as usual. Two have been charged with a felony and all three will be missing every Thursdays Practice from here on out so they can attend their Diversion Program as part of their sentence....

Thoughts?

PLAY THEM ON DEFENSE!! <Rimshot!>

All kidding aside. Wouldn't your normal team rules concerning practice attendance cover this situation?  Excused? Unexcused, etc...? If their parents haven't tried to involve you more than they already have; then there's no reason to try to interject yourself into their family matters. You may even just piss some of them off. 

OTOH, the parents can't get around your team rules regarding practice attendance, regardless of their excuses for their little darlings.  You know your team better than anyone else.  Team first. Do as you deem fit as a coach and mentor of youth in that situation. 

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ”  ― Frederick Douglass

Offline parone

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2017, 03:47:09 PM »
I'd go with tiger's suggestions-missed practice mean less PT-and you don't really have to explain that to the rest of the team-your out is 'they missed practice'

not knowing the kids, it's hard to know what the best thing you could do for them is(and that's the metric, i'd think).

my hope in your situation would be, after they missed practices, you'd inform them, 'i can't play you X amount this week due to missed practice-do you want to tell me why you missed?'

at that point, you do what you can to explain to them that the choice they made is going to negatively impact them, it goes way beyond football, but if they learn from it and never do it again(or anything like that), then this can be a positive in the long run.

Dream Big.  Work Hard. Stay Humble.

Offline mahonz

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2017, 09:06:32 PM »
Thanks for the feedback.

One of the players that turned himself in last night was still in lockup today.

The other two players were present at our game and both parents approached the HC and had a conversation. He also had a conversation with the players. Neither started the game but did play.

We will have a team meeting on the subject on Tuesday...all players and coaches with the parents blessings. One of the parents is a Police Officer. I did not know this. They are highly embarrassed.

I will let you know what happens on Tuesday. I like Dave's approach so an apology to the team from these knuckleheads is certainly the first step. What happens from there....its their team not mine. Will be an interesting discussion.

One thing I am going thru personally these days....Im am really sick and tired of being a parent to some of these kids. Its wearing on me. I care less and less because they care less and less.  I can hardly wait to get back to the Super Smurfie level in 2018. I am done with idiot Snapchat zit faced teenagers for a while.
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Offline Dusty Ol Fart

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2017, 09:53:37 PM »
Without a doubt Kids make mistakes!  Some more egregious than others.

Regardless of first offense, they deserve some consequence, otherwise they learn nothing. 

How sad!   ???

 
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Offline Michael

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2017, 11:17:21 PM »
Hey, you switch your avatar to the Raiders, something like this can't be a shock.
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Offline Seabass

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2017, 04:45:43 PM »
Crappy deal for sure!

I had a kid who was repeatedly arrested last year. I suspended him twice and eventually let him go. We have a rule about getting in trouble at school. He was arrested at school all 3 times so it was pretty cut and dry. The 1st time was a half game suspension, 2nd time was a full game, and the 3rd time he was gone.

If my kid were involved in something like that you wouldn't have any decisions to make because you wouldn't see him again.

Offline mahonz

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2017, 05:28:20 PM »
Crappy deal for sure!

I had a kid who was repeatedly arrested last year. I suspended him twice and eventually let him go. We have a rule about getting in trouble at school. He was arrested at school all 3 times so it was pretty cut and dry. The 1st time was a half game suspension, 2nd time was a full game, and the 3rd time he was gone.

If my kid were involved in something like that you wouldn't have any decisions to make because you wouldn't see him again.

It is a crappy deal.

One of the perps has a brother on the team that was not involved. Single Mom who does not want to deal with one playing and the other idle. We are her babysitter.

The other perps parents said that football is the only thing they are allowed too do for the rest of the school year outside of the home. They didn't want their sons actions to negatively effect the team. Enough damage had been done.

Being Spring ball its more casual. No Rules set forth except let us know it you will be missing practice or a game. Since we are a melting pot of coaches and players from many different teams....Im not there to teach life lessons but rather give these kids a platform to get better at their trade and the coaches to hone their skills.

If this was the Fall team all 3 would be gone.

So...different atmosphere. Right or wrong Im pretty much not giving a chit these days. None of the perps are from my Fall team. All 3 are top shelf players but so are the other 26 players for the most part. Its an all star team so its not like the Staff is keeping them around because they are good players. They are replaceable.

But Im with you....if this were my son....he'd be done for the season.
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Offline Bob Goodman

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2017, 09:43:21 PM »
I forgot -- did anyone think to ask them if they had any electronics they could let go cheap?

Offline patriotsfatboy1

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Re: Odd situation with some Players
« Reply #14 on: May 09, 2017, 06:17:05 AM »
Sorry, late to the party on this one.  Been busy.

Are these 3 kids "high risk"?  In other words, if you have them doing nothing, will they be out doing more bad stuff and heading down a path of trouble?  If so, why wouldn't you have them practice as normal, but game days are the punishment.  They will have to work their way back to playing on game days, but you don't allow them to just quit (or be kicked off). 

I get not wanting to have to do the parent's job, but ultimately, aren't we tasked with teaching them to be good men through teamwork, discipline and self-motivation?