Author Topic: Straight out defiant parent  (Read 1356 times)

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Offline Popcoach11

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Straight out defiant parent
« on: September 25, 2017, 11:32:17 AM »
I've never been in this situation before, but this past Saturday I had a parent be brutally defiant with one of our team rules. Goes like this....

We all want to have some semblance of looking like a team, so we have all our kids wear black socks. We send out text messages prior to every game about that weeks game. We also ask every parent to reply back acknowledging they recieved the message. Everyone always does. 1st 2 weeks we had a couple kids forget to wear their black socks. No sweat, it's early in the year. I understand.

Kid has never shown up in black socks at all. Great kid BTW!!!!

Last game he shows in in orange socks. One of our coaches bought him a pair of black socks prior to game time for just this reason. He switches out his socks, no issue from the kid at all.

Well dad walks down while we're warming up and asks to talk to me. Stars off by saying "I'm sure you know who I am"

Me "Yes sir, how can I help you"

"Well so and so has white socks on, why is he allowed to have white socks and why does my kid have to change into black socks? That's not fair. I'd like him back in his orange socks. There's a reason I have him in orange every game."

Me "Well that's just a team and league rule so we can look like a team"

Him "Well I have my reasons"....before he could even finish I walk away. Don't have time for petty douche bag stuff right before a game.

Then he goes to our president and explains the whole thing to him. President asks "did you get the text everyone else got before the game?"

He replies "yes"

President "so what's the issue, have him in black socks, simple really"

Him "because I want to be defiant" with no other explanation.

What!!!!! That's his sole reason? What a douche bag!!!!

How do you control yourself from not punching him in the damn jaw, and if he continues this garbage, how do U keep him from becoming a cancer to the kid and also other parents who may lend and ear to his nonsense.

Never once had an issue like this and it took every ounce of self control to not go off on this dude pregame in front of the kids.

I guess you can say I don't deal with stupidity very well.

Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2017, 12:01:11 PM »
1st 2 weeks we had a couple kids forget to wear their black socks. No sweat, it's early in the year. I understand.
That was the start of your problems.

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"Well so and so has white socks on, why is he allowed to have white socks and why does my kid have to change into black socks? That's not fair. I'd like him back in his orange socks.
You set the standard in the 1st 2 weeks. He's just following your lead.

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Him "because I want to be defiant" with no other explanation.
Mind over matter. You shouldn't mind because Dad's wants shouldn't matter.

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What!!!!! That's his sole reason? What a douche bag!!!!
Correct, but also doesn't matter.

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How do you control yourself from not punching him in the damn jaw,
Personally, a fear of prison showers typically helps my self control immensely. Seriously, though. In polite society, one doesn't go around punching people unless it's in self defense.

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and if he continues this garbage, how do U keep him from becoming a cancer to the kid and also other parents who may lend and ear to his nonsense.
Unfortunately, "no sweat, it's early in the year" already let that horse out of the barn. I'm not going to judge you for making the issue of socks a big deal. I'm sure we make a big deal out of a lot of things that others wouldn't. However, do you see the effect of suddenly making it a big deal? So to keep him from continuing to be a cancer, bring the consequences.

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Never once had an issue like this and it took every ounce of self control to not go off on this dude pregame in front of the kids.
Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

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I guess you can say I don't deal with stupidity very well.
I don't deal with it at all.

Simple solution. If you decide to draw your line in the sand, then do it. Treat the socks as you would a helmet. If you don't have the right equipment, you don't play. Watch how fast the black socks appear. Just make sure the kid with the white socks gets the same consequence. Everyone has the right to be defiant, but there's usually a price to pay for that.

If you decide to let it go, then get used to the idea of multi-colored socks. No sense arguing with the guy, though. THAT would be stupid.
Mission Statement: To create a Football Family that our players and parents can't imagine not being a part of.

Offline Popcoach11

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2017, 12:10:56 PM »
I really wish it were that simple Gumby. I would totally do that, but our league rules say, " if a kid is properly and safely equipped, he must step on field to get his 10 play minimum" unfortunately "properly equipped" doesn't include same color socks. If he doesn't play, we get fined and HC gets suspended. I'm NOT willing to do that, which would greatly affect the rest of our team.

He's a MMP kid who gets 10 plays anyways, so hands are bound and feel like I'm being gagged at the same time by these league "rules"

My 1st thought was to sit all they're asses out, but after talking with the president about this, unfortunately my old school ways would have too many detrimental affects.

Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2017, 12:57:35 PM »
I tend to lean towards John's approach, but again, I don't judge.

If you want to push the issue, give him 10 plays and sit him. Tell him he can have more if he changes socks. Or, have him run bellies in the next practice. Or do what we do and make everyone else run bellies while he watches. In short, take control or let it go.
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Offline jrk5150

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2017, 01:56:44 PM »
I deleted my comment, I thought it was too pissy.  I'm in a mood.   :)

Let's just say I don't sweat the small stuff like socks.

Then again, based on my record, I'm not sure what I do or don't sweat should be imitated by anyone...

Offline PSLCOACHROB

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2017, 08:17:42 AM »
I want to know why the other kid didn't have to change socks.

 We liked the kids to be in all the same uniforms from head to toe. Cleats I get but for two years we actually got all the kids to wear the same cleats as well (we got a great bulk deal online). The kids looked great and loved it btw. Other years we allowed them to get crazy with socks as long as they were team colors. They had fun with that as well. Anyway, if team unity/no individuals is the message you are sending then keep to it but apply it to everyone. Bring a few extra pairs.

My guess the real reason he wants the kid to wear orange socks is so he can pick his kid out easier.

Offline CoachDP

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2017, 10:34:11 AM »
When I coached youth ball, I wanted a uniform, consistent look.  Since I was not providing socks for my players as part of their uniform, I felt like I couldn't mandate the color of socks they wore.  I reckoned that if I gave a mandate about socks, then I needed to provide the socks.  Since I didn't want to worry about sock color, I did specify to parents and players that I didn't care what color they wore, as long as it didn't go higher than their ankle.  And if it did go higher than their ankle, I carried scissors with me in the equipment box and I would cut them down to length.  I never had a problem and it always worked fine.  During the play-offs when it got cooler, I would provide every player with high-rise knee socks.  These were theirs to keep.  And since I had issued these, I gave them a mandate that this would be the only socks they wore for the duration of the play-offs.  I never had a problem with parents or players because of our sock policy.  Perhaps it was because I had discussed it over and again at our Parents Meetings.  Maybe because they knew I really carried scissors in my equipment box. Or maybe it was because of my reputation for being a stickler of doing certain things in a certain way.  I dunno.  But I was adamant about this.  And it always worked.

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Offline Michael

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Re: Straight out defiant parent
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 10:42:46 AM »
Do you know who he is?

Yeah, the prick who needs another adult to dress his kid.
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