Author Topic: Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.  (Read 1447 times)

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Offline mahonz

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Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.
« on: July 08, 2018, 02:17:02 AM »

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July.

Outliving a Child does really weird things because it is so…unnatural. All you can do is power along and make the best of every day. I had a really good week so I thought I’d share with my Football Brothers.

As some you of already know my Son passes away on February 7th 2016 due to complications from Type 1 Diabetes.  He was 34, married with 4 young children.

He was living in Baraboo Wisconsin at the time. My entire family is from Denver and most still live in the area. So he was there and we were all here. This was a shocking blow. No one really knew what to do. I remember Michael calling me and offering to head up from Chicago if I needed anything,…Lar did the same thing. I just kinda went numb...dropped everything and headed to Baraboo with no plan.

We decided to have him cremated and his wife Jodi took the big Urn and all direct family members got an exact copy but the smaller version. All Urns have some of his ashes in them. Everyone was OK with this….for about 2 months.

At the time this worked but it very quickly began to really bother me. He needed a final resting place.  I didn’t expect this but became adamant rather quickly after his Memorial Service. So for the last two years the entire family has been on a mission to resolve this with my Daughter taking the lead for me. Nobody in our family owns a family plot or a Mausoleum except for my Wife and its in Oklahoma and its full. When it comes to dying its very expensive so a plot with a headstone is certainly an investment and one that none of us were planning for.

Creating your own plot in your backyard within city limits is illegal without a long process that may or may not fail. You can bury your family pet but no humans. I suppose I can understand this. I wouldn't want a former grave-site in the back yard if I were buying a house. We own some really nice mountain Properties in the San Juan’s and Durango but there are way too many “owners”. We own an old silver mine near Aspen but it now requires a long hike or a helicopter to access but at least has less owners that can be bought out. Still….few would visit if physically challenged. We also own Sections of land in Weld County that just happens to sit on one of the largest Natural Gas Deposits in the Region. Problem is that area is now getting filled up with the latest Oil Boom too include our Sections.  We have 3 open Contracts with more on the way, so my greedy extended family would never give that free money up.  I probably should not be upset about that one but there are some areas of topography and outcroppings where a Rig will never go. Ever.

We also own some undeveloped Commercial Land in Leadville but if you have ever been to Leadville then you understand why its still...undeveloped. BTW my Father and Uncles bought that Property in 1970 ish rather than the Property originally offered next to a ski area that was slated to be built for the 1972 Olympics.  The Games were initially awarded to Colorado but was then voted down by the People because we were nothing more than isolationist hippies at the time. My Father and Uncles thought they made the right investment. Nope. Shoulda smoked some more weed and consulted the family Sherpa first. Leadville died and fell off the map while that ski area eventually got built as planned but a few years later and is now the World renowned.... Beaver Creek everyone in my family slaps their forehead.

Baraboo is an absolute no go even though his family still lives there. Nice place. Not home and never will be.

A City Plot where some of my family is buried would require a ridiculous amount of money for nothing really because they are filling up. The entire Death Industry is truly a band of Thieves among Thieves that pray on your loss. No one in my family can be buried with our Parents because they are/ will be at Ft Logan National Cemetery and they only allow the military member and their spouse to be buried there. I was fine with this decision when they made it. It is truly an honor and an impressive place to visit.

When my son Keenan was born we lived in Vail Colorado. God  created the Vail Valley last so he could make all of his mistakes first.  The Vail Valley is by far and away one of the most beautiful places on this Earth....especially East Vail.
Once we decided Vail was no place to raise a family we moved away when my Son was 4 and my Daughter was 2.  We still visited every 4th of July for my Son’s Birthday on the 5th of July….plus the usual winter trips to one of the top ski mountains in the World. After College Keenan and his best friend moved there for a one-year adventure. When Keenan met his wife he proposed to her on the Covered Bridge in Vail. When I was a kid my entire family went there for a quick vacation once every Summer and Winter…Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and Cousins. At times there were 50 of us all together.

So Vail made sense as a final resting place. Problem is the City itself is less than 60 years old so they don’t have a traditional Cemetery. They do have a Memorial Park that happens to be in East Vail but you must qualify for a spot. Its natural Stones placed individually along Gore Creek and Bighorn Mountain. There are flagstones and dry stack walls, Boulders and Bench Seats along walking paths that wind thru all the Stones with a canopy of Spruce trees and Aspen groves all designed for an individual and or a family if desired. You can only get to it on foot but access is easy. It is one of the most beautiful spots in the Valley. It was gifted to the City by one of the 10th Mountain Division founding fathers. Initially a Cemetery was never planned but as the Founders got older….this place opened in 2004 with room to expand for the next 100 years.

They accepted my Son last April. No caskets allowed, only sub-terrain Urns.

We spent Keenan’s Birthday week deciding on a Stone. We all finally came to the conclusion that we needed 3 Stones in a Group. Mission accomplished. In 30 days my Son has his final resting spot that our family can visit for 100’s of years. Plus my Family now has a plot so to speak that I own so I can relax and get my mind right again. Any future "residents" now only have to pay for engraving when that time comes.

My Daughter is my rock. She is the glue that holds us all together. She is only 35 and really shouldn’t have to be dealing with this subject being that she is only 35. She was the one who got everyone focused, researched….came up with a long term plan and finalized all the details. Im sure her Brother is very proud of her.

Thanks for reading. Any day I get to talk about my son is a good day.  :)

« Last Edit: July 08, 2018, 02:26:06 AM by mahonz »
What is beautiful, lives forever.

Offline CoachDavidP

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Re: Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2018, 05:27:12 AM »
Thanks for sharing Mike and while the process might of been a long one, it would appear to have worked out perfectly. It looks like an absolutely beautiful spot.
David (Fizzlife)

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Offline cd

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Re: Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2018, 10:45:28 PM »
Beautiful plot Mike- God bless you and your family.

Offline patriotsfatboy1

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Re: Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2018, 10:50:28 AM »
Congratulations on finding a perfect resting place for your son (and the rest of the family).  That is a good day!

Offline Wing-n-It

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Re: Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2018, 02:49:14 PM »
Very nice Mike

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Offline gumby_in_co

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Re: Loosing a Child....not a sad Thread... but a happy one.
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2018, 03:59:58 PM »
I'm due a visit to Vail.
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